sadness, a lot of it.

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I ripped apart the veil of happiness,

Mirth’s a mirage in this loveless land.

Leaked out my favourite songs, my fancy words

Leaked out vitality

Leaked out what made me me.

Then looked for me in mirrors and photographs and lost people and changing seasons.

Liquid sorrow creeps in at the worst times.

 

Please give me a flame,

I need to unfreeze myself!

There’s a catatonic state in my mind.

But no words cut through this catastrophic silence.

I try to draw one string but all I can hold is a tangled mass of yarn.

Pricking myself with the needle, if only to feel something

Wishing for somebody to pull me through this gray haze

 

Help me, I scream,

But it ricochets off your walls.

So I stand alone, always alone,

Full of false insights.

Full of belief that you hate me now

Glancing at the door, waiting for you to go—

Silently dreading—

I’m so full of this silence.

But I will translate your quiet to mean something scathing and never look at you again.

But hey, could you love me, please?

I know I’m infinitely tiresome.

This is not even new anymore, but every infestation feels like the first time.

Oh, please go stay go.

I’ll be holding on to the ashes of my burnt bridges and ageless afflictions.

 

But you need someone better.

So please, just go.

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