Prison
When you looked at me from between the iron bars, your hands gripping them too tight, I could almost pretend that I was free and you were the one stuck inside. I glanced at the four walls that seemed ice-cold, even on a summer afternoon, and then at your knuckles that were turning white from clutching the bars.
Now
that you're here, I don't know what I feel. I'm just numb... I got what I
wanted, but what do I do with it now? Why do you still come here, anyways? You
can't love me now, not anymore; do you love this place, then? It seems rather
morbid and depressing. I even tried to end my life here, a couple of times. But
I failed, of course. Just like I failed in everything else I tried to do.
Just
out of curiosity, can you see the stars now? You always said that the darkness
around the stars was thousand times more beautiful and beguiling than the
twinkling little lamps. You taught me to see the stars, even though you
yourself stared at the eternally foreboding mud and darkness.
Can't
we trade places? It would be better for both of us, but I deserved this.
I
had always loved the light, and you, the darkness. It is so ironic; I was
plunged into the darkness while you have to suffer through the lurid brightness
of the Sun, everyday.
The
only light I can see now from this lonely cell is the faint flicker of the
policeman's torch when he checks the place at night. Ha, as if I'd try to
escape. Being here isn't daisies and all, but it beats being with you, anytime.
I
mean, being with you, that was the past. It's called that for a reason, even
though I can't move on. I don't think I ever will, but being stuck here will
probably make my mind as rotten as the wooden benches outside reserved for the
"special" people. Maybe that will make me forget how I
continually hurt you, and everyone around us.
Every
night, I try to sleep on the cold, hard ground and pretend that if I squint
hard enough at the ceiling, I can see all the stars in the universe. But I
can't. The stars always had a commendable sense of justice. Maybe that's why
they hide their faces from me. I don't deserve to see them, the flawed soul
that I am.
All
I wanted was to be happy. I wanted to be with you. Now it will all be in the
past tense. All our plans, hopes and dreams will be just fancies; a probability
in some distant alternate reality.
I wanted to
be happy. I don't deserve happiness, not anymore. Not after what I did to you
and to everyone else. The stars know it, the law knows it, you know it too.
Hell, even I have finally accepted that.
I
wish I could blame them. I wish that I could say with utmost hatred in every
fibre of my being that they are the ones at fault, that they destroyed
everything. But I know the truth. So do you.
I
am responsible for destroying everything.
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